Technology

Welcome to my very second blog post!(I will dispense with the enthusiastic greetings around the third or fourth blog, after that all you people will get is a casual "Sup", possibly a "Waz goin' on", a "How ya'll doin", or other rhetorical greeting questions). Today has been a rather long, and fairly unproductive, day. The only things of any note being my thoughts on the "Bill Nye vs. Ken Ham" debate, which will be detailed in an article I plan to have out by this weekend, and my recent("recent" meaning starting 2 hours ago and ending 10 minutes ago) struggles with the hypernatural forces of Technology.

Earlier this evening, in an attempt to upgrade the functionality and searchablity of the website that this blog is featured on, I was forced to dip into a sea of knowledge that I was previously unfamiliar with and woefully unqualified for. Suffice to say(#clichephrase) this predicament led to many a strenuous strain and stressful stress. The details of my arduous journey are long, boring, and completely unimportant but my situation does provide a perfect illustration of a particular principle that I have been thinking about lately.

Technology, the knowledge of it, the access to it, and the power over it, is the only thing that matters in this present world and the only thing that seperates us from crazy, depressed hobos and helpless, naked babies! I am perfectly fine with this principle, but I very much wish that I had been told about this sooner. For whilst I was off, teething(a complete waste of time) and learning about the Renaisscance and skipping rope and hopping scotch, an empire, nay, a new world order was being built completely without my knowledge. This Order now controls just about every aspect of my life, as well as yours, uses a language I was never taught and do not completely understand, and has rendered futile any time that I have ever spent outside.

I, of course, have used, and have become quite familiar with, technology in my life. From my electronic pacifier and automatic flushing toilets(I would not know how to go about living without these), to the glorious television and the ultimate culmination of human progress- the computer and the Internet. My relationship with such things can be illustrated in this simple parable.

"There once was a young man who lived in a simple forest land in a simple forest village where he would spend his days teething, learning of the Renaissance, jumping rope, and hopping scotch. One day, the young man decided to take a walk through the forest, and on his walk he discovered a book of spells. The young  man took the book home and used it regularly, casting social networking spells and music spells and movie spells and spells that captured the knowledge of the cosmos and helped him write papers about the Renaissance. And the young man never once dared to question where it was that the magic came from. The End"

Recently I have been forced to deal with the forces behind this mysterious magic. It is terrifying. A swirling maw of strange numbers and symbols maintained by some unholy priesthood of bespectacled, bowtied Shamans!

In conclusion. ALL HAIL GOOGLE! No blog for a bit. I will be working on the aforementioned article.

-Avery Moodie

P.S. I eventually was able to learn the spells necessary to solve my problems but am no closer to understanding their mysterious origins.